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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Am still Remember

There’re things and incidences that will stay deep inside ours mind, being memories that will accompany us until ours last breathe .We are powerless to remove some memories regardless happy nor sad as they have been destined to be stored permanently in our mind at the moment we decided they’re something that mean to us,something that affect us,something that could change ours life,something that matter to us.

They are something that mould us into us,make us into us,turn us into us.

I remember how I fell in love for the very first time and losing principle by turning into a little girl that longing for loves and cares.

I remember how I cried for consecutive 2 days like a little baby after broke up with him.

I remember how I bruised my elbow in the process of learning how to hand-stand and hoping I can be amazing bgirl of the world.Oh Silly! 

I remember how I gathered all the guts and courage I have and told him that I love him and what I got in return were disappointment and claiming of wrong timing.

I remember how tired am I that I doze off while driving and awaken by horn behind.Omigod luckily I don’t fall into drain or crash the road-side tree.

 I remember how happy am I  receiving a love confession message from my loved one in the middle of dad’s birthday celebration.I love you darling!

I  remember how I wanted to rush forward with my antique corolla when stopping at traffic light waiting it to turn green so that I would die crashing with speeding cars infront,after heard a confession of a cruel heartless man seating behind that he seduced a girl when he was in relationship with me.And until now I still wondering if he actually feel sorry to me.

I remember how sad am I when meeting a child that aged between 1 to 2 that have no eyeball on her left eye due to scary cancer sickness.

I remember ,just minutes ago,I frightened by a lizard and so I realized I actually scare lizard.
To Be Continued …

Sunday, December 12, 2010

被鬼压!!!

第一次,   我决定收起我倔强的心

收起爱发言论的心

收起压抑的心

做一次小女生

向部落格倾诉我近来的心情(你有福了!!)

多二十多天就开学了,难免会感到压力

就在明年,我会是STPM 的考生

能不能顺利上大学读所要的科系

就得看STPM 成绩了

我的内心深处是多么的害怕

多么的担心

这一次我不可以给自己有任何失败的机会

不然一切就泡汤啦

T.T

不懂哪来的信心和勇气

我换去历史班

在未来选择科系上,很有限的班

也不懂哪来的勇气和狠心

一手摧毁了我另有一个梦想

法医

也许你会感到惊讶

也会觉得我这个梦很不现实,很不好

但梦是我的,我根本就不在乎别人怎么想

还记得,一位男性朋友得知我对法医有兴趣时

他就没表情地说:以后你男友会不敢牵你的手

白痴,真心爱我的话会介意的咩

不然永远单身也不错

哈哈哈

之后,我通过朋友和网络了解法医真真的工作

天呐,我喜欢啦啦啦

其实,如果是好好的死体,难度就没那么高

我是说查他的死因方面,还有他还不会发出难闻的味道(根据某某线索,不是瞎说的)

但,相反地,如果是已经开始腐烂的死体,你能想象是怎样的吗?

你能想象那味道是多么的难闻吗?

甚至,我还想去中央医院的停尸室

体会下接触他们的感觉

说到这些,我想起很常发生在我身上的‘鬼压床’

这两年的七月半都被鬼压,每晚都会
整整一个月。。
搞到我连入眠都会害怕

害怕。。一闭上眼晴就不能开的感觉

害怕。。挣扎了却不能动的感觉

遇到这种情况时:。。。

‘不要慌张,不可挣扎着要起来,否则只会越来越糟。试着先放松,然后凭意识轻轻动手指,或挤眼睛,一般做十多下,就会醒过来。但也学要练习, 才能真正控制自己的大脑。发生这种事情太正常了,尤其是在中午,不要背负太多的思想包袱,这样对身体工作都不好。’

起因:梦魇是人睡眠时发生一过性脑缺血引起的,人白天发生一过性脑缺血时,会产生很可怕的眩晕、心悸、胸部压迫感、眼发黑、耳鸣和各种神经功能障碍的症状。
 
那为什么偏偏在七月半发生在我身上叻??

还我害怕到要命

每次被压醒后,就跑去把男友吵醒,要他陪我

幸好有他:3

有你真好!
。。。。。。
我有点跑题了。。回来回来-.-
…………
现在,我已经从理科换去文班
追求法律系的梦
我努力地忘掉那已被抛弃也没开始过的梦
提醒自己一切都过去了
但有时
尤其是看到或听到关于死忘案件
我还是会想象。。
如果我现在还在理班
如果我现在追着的是法医梦
如果如果如果!!
我。。是怎么啦T.T
就这样我慢慢地学会了在最短的时间内收拾好心情
安慰自己
时时提醒自己 
  
选择了就别再回头看  
       
我要学会放下
放下不属于我的一切
朝向属于自己的未来

我的未来。。

很高兴

我终于看见你了







Saturday, December 11, 2010

'STPM is such a waste!'

I am displeased when read and hear about the unacceptable facts and accusations by the irresponsible people about form 6.It seems to me they simply judge and conjecture upon this topic without genuine knowledge.

For example,mad parents out there spreading how form 6 wasted their children golden time when they unsuccessfully get into IPTA.

come on larh,your child dint perform well in stpm and you blame form 6 instead of your own child?
It should be:my child has wasted form 6,the golden opportunity to enter University.
To be frank,I study form 6 due to financial constraint and my JPA application was predictably declined.(and some others side-reasons).

STPM is one of the toughest exam in the world.You cant just attend form 6 with laid-back attitude and hoping miracle will happen.Form 6 needs real hardwork and smartness.

I am in deep sadness when I sussed that many of my classmates stay in form 6 because they are forced by their parents.They are being where they are because of their parents,not themselves.They got no idea why they have to stay form 6,without goals, without aims,they are just like a movable dead body that being controlled by somebody.

But then when you try to put yourself into their parents shoe,you can actually figure out the hided reasons.Financial problem.If so,the children themselves should understand their parents and adapt to form 6 with a sincere heart but not studying with reluctancy.

With such pessimistic thinking,how are you going to score well in STPM later on?
*with low grades,CGMP lower than 2.00,that official stpm cert means nothing.You cant go anywhere with it.So?1 yr n half wasted!That’s how the rumour of stpm is such a waste comes from.
I am sure that when this day arrive,this will pop out from their mind:
I never say I want to study form 6,u forced me to do so.So I should not be the one to be blame after all.
Childish Nerd!
So you stay form 6 just to make your parents happy?What a filial piety!soso ‘touching’!
After all,you will realize that you make the biggest mistake!
  1. You don’t speak up and let your parents destine your future.
  2. You blame everyone except yourself and stick to your pessimistic mind.
  3. You screwed up stpm.
  4. You get a busuk certificate and no one wants you.
  5. You stop schooling and go for work./Study diploma/foundation etc which makes you fall behind in terms of education level.(at your age)

Choices are yours.You just have to fight for it.
No one but you,are fully responsible for your future.
Stop pointing at others,look at the mirror,he/she is the one to be pointed.

You gotta do something!!

*Need some help?Being doubtful about form 6?
Don’t hesitate to send me an email!
Janisethen@ymail,com
All the best!

*If you dont feel to study form 6,i would advise you dont go for it.
Once you 've dcided,then u gotta fight very hard to achieve good grades!
Anyway,goodluck!





Tom Yam of the day

I never would like tom yam if i dint attended a camp at my school.Played my role as a facilitator that night.When all the campers went off to bed in their respective tents,we(the facilitators group) cook tomyam soup in class,with plug in steamboat.I sipped a little bit of it and i stunned,eh how come it tasted so nice!
Is this fella just out from jungle or what?Tom yam also ever try?
I tried before,once, but somehow dont like it.And i refused to try it again till that night.
Perhaps,we need second try sometimes!


Went to Kimbay at the spring,kuching today and ordered vermicelli TomYam as my lunch.
I drunk a glass of ribenasprite plus a glass of skyjuice to finish it off.
Have to bear with its extreme spiciness in order to luxuriate its yumminess.
You know what~?It is all worth it !!Smirking***

Thursday, December 2, 2010

His awesomeness!

  1. He has awesome body shape like Jacob Black that can awe gazillions of males and females.(hehehe!i am smiling contentedly!)


    Alrite,his breasts are smaller than mr.jacob.

  2. He can play basketball like Kobe Bryant whose may granted a chance to play a game as laker.(intentionally make it sounds exaggerative larh)



  3. He can sing like Wong Lee Hom that catches my heart and causing my tears oozing from my tightly shut eyelids.(He's my only-one precious lee hom!=D)


  4. He is sentimental that he would cry when I star at his beautiful eyes and tell how much I love him.

  5. He has mastered the skill of balancing that he’ll grab me tight and never let me fall.(I walk like a got-no-sense-of-direction penguin in a zigzag motion)
    seriously,i walk in this pattern O_O

  6. He is a food lover whose will try his best to eat my unfinished food.(Alright I need to admit that wanting me to finish up a meal is just like hoping a miracle to happen,hehe,they should sell food in a smaller portion =P)

  7. He is loyal and faithful just like legendary Romeo.
    Oh my Romeo !=D

  8. He has an attractive pair of eyes that I'll never feel enough looking them.
    His eyes are bigger than mine,how come :( Tsk tsk!

  9. He is great in comforting that wiling to act like a sissy just to cheer me up.
    Not in this way larh hahaha!I assume that you're clever enough to get my point..haha eleh!X)

  10. He is unbelievably an official boyfriend of Janise.