Out of 7 subjects, 3 core subjects' results have been revealed. I passed those 3 but not with flying colours. Being a law student in UM, we have to adapt with the very fact that if you get an A-, it is more than enough to get the recognition from the others that you're brilliant.
Previously in Semester 1, I earned myself an A and A- but not this semester. The falling is a disaster. A disaster that can be foreseen and expected. I wish it is not. I have promised myself that if I couldn't cope well I would have to let debate go simply because I don't afford to be greedy and at the end got nothing. I have convinced myself that we can't own everything as everything has a price. To gain something, we have to sacrifice something. But then again, is the falling attributable to the activity that i actively involved in-debate?
No I don't think so. Who or what else to be blamed if not myself for not trying harder and doing better. I hate myself for being nonchalant. In my friends' eyes I'm diligent but I know myself better. I am certainly not. There is a Chinese saying that goes, "ren bi ren, bi si ren' which literally means comparison leads to death. I couldn't help but to look at how my other batchmates have done and ask myself why they can and I can't? I know I know it will only make myself to suffer more. It is torturous.
But I am where I am today not to fall or to fail. What done is done, I hope I will do better next semester. I hope the falling today will lead to a greater accomplishment.
P/S The more competition I join, the more passionate I become, whatever it takes, it is not the right time to let it go, yet. I have a job to finish. Why start if you don't intend to finish it? Go Then Siaw Lian.
You just need to have some faith in yourself.