Am still Remember

There’re things and incidences that will stay deep inside ours mind, being memories that will accompany us until ours last breathe .We are powerless to remove some memories regardless happy nor sad as they have been destined to be stored permanently in our mind at the moment we decided they’re something that mean to us,something that affect us,something that could change ours life,something that matter to us.

They are something that mould us into us,make us into us,turn us into us.

I remember how I fell in love for the very first time and losing principle by turning into a little girl that longing for loves and cares.

I remember how I cried for consecutive 2 days like a little baby after broke up with him.

I remember how I bruised my elbow in the process of learning how to hand-stand and hoping I can be amazing bgirl of the world.Oh Silly! 

I remember how I gathered all the guts and courage I have and told him that I love him and what I got in return were disappointment and claiming of wrong timing.

I remember how tired am I that I doze off while driving and awaken by horn behind.Omigod luckily I don’t fall into drain or crash the road-side tree.

 I remember how happy am I  receiving a love confession message from my loved one in the middle of dad’s birthday celebration.I love you darling!

I  remember how I wanted to rush forward with my antique corolla when stopping at traffic light waiting it to turn green so that I would die crashing with speeding cars infront,after heard a confession of a cruel heartless man seating behind that he seduced a girl when he was in relationship with me.And until now I still wondering if he actually feel sorry to me.

I remember how sad am I when meeting a child that aged between 1 to 2 that have no eyeball on her left eye due to scary cancer sickness.

I remember ,just minutes ago,I frightened by a lizard and so I realized I actually scare lizard.

To Be Continued …

被鬼压！！！

第一次，   我决定收起我倔强的心

收起爱发言论的心

收起压抑的心

做一次小女生

向部落格倾诉我近来的心情（你有福了！！）

多二十多天就开学了,难免会感到压力

就在明年，我会是STPM 的考生

能不能顺利上大学读所要的科系

就得看STPM 成绩了

我的内心深处是多么的害怕

多么的担心

这一次我不可以给自己有任何失败的机会

不然一切就泡汤啦

T.T

不懂哪来的信心和勇气

我换去历史班

在未来选择科系上，很有限的班

也不懂哪来的勇气和狠心

一手摧毁了我另有一个梦想

法医

也许你会感到惊讶

也会觉得我这个梦很不现实，很不好

但梦是我的，我根本就不在乎别人怎么想

还记得，一位男性朋友得知我对法医有兴趣时

他就没表情地说：以后你男友会不敢牵你的手

白痴，真心爱我的话会介意的咩

不然永远单身也不错

哈哈哈

之后，我通过朋友和网络了解法医真真的工作

天呐，我喜欢啦啦啦

其实，如果是好好的死体，难度就没那么高

我是说查他的死因方面，还有他还不会发出难闻的味道（根据某某线索，不是瞎说的）

但，相反地，如果是已经开始腐烂的死体，你能想象是怎样的吗？

你能想象那味道是多么的难闻吗？

甚至，我还想去中央医院的停尸室

体会下接触他们的感觉

说到这些，我想起很常发生在我身上的‘鬼压床’

这两年的七月半都被鬼压，每晚都会

整整一个月。。

搞到我连入眠都会害怕

害怕。。一闭上眼晴就不能开的感觉

害怕。。挣扎了却不能动的感觉

遇到这种情况时：。。。

‘不要慌张，不可挣扎着要起来，否则只会越来越糟。试着先放松，然后凭意识轻轻动手指，或挤眼睛，一般做十多下，就会醒过来。但也学要练习， 才能真正控制自己的大脑。发生这种事情太正常了，尤其是在中午，不要背负太多的思想包袱，这样对身体工作都不好。’

起因：梦魇是人睡眠时发生一过性脑缺血引起的，人白天发生一过性脑缺血时，会产生很可怕的眩晕、心悸、胸部压迫感、眼发黑、耳鸣和各种神经功能障碍的症状。

那为什么偏偏在七月半发生在我身上叻？？

还我害怕到要命

每次被压醒后，就跑去把男友吵醒，要他陪我

幸好有他:3

有你真好!

。。。。。。

我有点跑题了。。回来回来-.-

…………

现在，我已经从理科换去文班

追求法律系的梦

我努力地忘掉那已被抛弃也没开始过的梦

提醒自己一切都过去了

但有时

尤其是看到或听到关于死忘案件

我还是会想象。。

如果我现在还在理班

如果我现在追着的是法医梦

如果如果如果！！

我。。是怎么啦T.T

就这样我慢慢地学会了在最短的时间内收拾好心情

安慰自己

时时提醒自己 

  

选择了就别再回头看  

       

我要学会放下

放下不属于我的一切

朝向属于自己的未来

我的未来。。

很高兴

我终于看见你了

'STPM is such a waste!'

I am displeased when read and hear about the unacceptable facts and accusations by the irresponsible people about form 6.It seems to me they simply judge and conjecture upon this topic without genuine knowledge.

For example,mad parents out there spreading how form 6 wasted their children golden time when they unsuccessfully get into IPTA.

come on larh,your child dint perform well in stpm and you blame form 6 instead of your own child?

It should be:my child has wasted form 6,the golden opportunity to enter University.

To be frank,I study form 6 due to financial constraint and my JPA application was predictably declined.(and some others side-reasons).

STPM is one of the toughest exam in the world.You cant just attend form 6 with laid-back attitude and hoping miracle will happen.Form 6 needs real hardwork and smartness.

I am in deep sadness when I sussed that many of my classmates stay in form 6 because they are forced by their parents.They are being where they are because of their parents,not themselves.They got no idea why they have to stay form 6,without goals, without aims,they are just like a movable dead body that being controlled by somebody.

But then when you try to put yourself into their parents shoe,you can actually figure out the hided reasons.Financial problem.If so,the children themselves should understand their parents and adapt to form 6 with a sincere heart but not studying with reluctancy.

With such pessimistic thinking,how are you going to score well in STPM later on?

*with low grades,CGMP lower than 2.00,that official stpm cert means nothing.You cant go anywhere with it.So?1 yr n half wasted!That’s how the rumour of stpm is such a waste comes from.

I am sure that when this day arrive,this will pop out from their mind:

I never say I want to study form 6,u forced me to do so.So I should not be the one to be blame after all.

Childish Nerd!

So you stay form 6 just to make your parents happy?What a filial piety!soso ‘touching’!

After all,you will realize that you make the biggest mistake!

1. You don’t speak up and let your parents destine your future.
2. You blame everyone except yourself and stick to your pessimistic mind.
3. You screwed up stpm.
4. You get a busuk certificate and no one wants you.
5. You stop schooling and go for work./Study diploma/foundation etc which makes you fall behind in terms of education level.(at your age)

Choices are yours.You just have to fight for it.

No one but you,are fully responsible for your future.

Stop pointing at others,look at the mirror,he/she is the one to be pointed.

You gotta do something!!

*Need some help?Being doubtful about form 6?

Don’t hesitate to send me an email!

Janisethen@ymail,com

All the best!

*If you dont feel to study form 6,i would advise you dont go for it.

Once you 've dcided,then u gotta fight very hard to achieve good grades!

Anyway,goodluck!

Tom Yam of the day

I never would like tom yam if i dint attended a camp at my school.Played my role as a facilitator that night.When all the campers went off to bed in their respective tents,we(the facilitators group) cook tomyam soup in class,with plug in steamboat.I sipped a little bit of it and i stunned,eh how come it tasted so nice!
Is this fella just out from jungle or what?Tom yam also ever try?
I tried before,once, but somehow dont like it.And i refused to try it again till that night.
Perhaps,we need second try sometimes!


Went to Kimbay at the spring,kuching today and ordered vermicelli TomYam as my lunch.
I drunk a glass of ribenasprite plus a glass of skyjuice to finish it off.
Have to bear with its extreme spiciness in order to luxuriate its yumminess.
You know what~?It is all worth it !!Smirking***

His awesomeness!

1. He has awesome body shape like Jacob Black that can awe gazillions of males and females.(hehehe!i am smiling contentedly!)
   
   
   
   
   
   Alrite,his breasts are smaller than mr.jacob.
   
   
2. He can play basketball like Kobe Bryant whose may granted a chance to play a game as laker.(intentionally make it sounds exaggerative larh)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. He can sing like Wong Lee Hom that catches my heart and causing my tears oozing from my tightly shut eyelids.(He's my only-one precious lee hom!=D)
   
   
   
   
   
4. He is sentimental that he would cry when I star at his beautiful eyes and tell how much I love him.
   
   
5. He has mastered the skill of balancing that he’ll grab me tight and never let me fall.(I walk like a got-no-sense-of-direction penguin in a zigzag motion)
   
   seriously,i walk in this pattern O_O
   
   
6. He is a food lover whose will try his best to eat my unfinished food.(Alright I need to admit that wanting me to finish up a meal is just like hoping a miracle to happen,hehe,they should sell food in a smaller portion =P)
   
   
7. He is loyal and faithful just like legendary Romeo.
   
   Oh my Romeo !=D
   
   
8. He has an attractive pair of eyes that I'll never feel enough looking them.
   
   His eyes are bigger than mine,how come :( Tsk tsk!
   
   
9. He is great in comforting that wiling to act like a sissy just to cheer me up.
   
   Not in this way larh hahaha!I assume that you're clever enough to get my point..haha eleh!X)
   
   
10. He is unbelievably an official boyfriend of Janise.
    
    
    
    

    
    

Have you ever or never thinking of taking form 6?

I had just finished my lower 6.Sincerely,I am happy to be here.It’s far better than what I had ever imagined,I feel far contented than what I had ever expected.

I was reluctantly accept the fact the I need to stay for form 6.It’ like,omigod!another 2 years at this boring place?arghhh,how am I going to spend my 6^th and 7^th schooling year at here.All of those devastating thoughts stuck me for nonstop,making me felt really depressed.After a short period of being grunchy,I turned to be optimistic.

‘Oh fine Janise,you still can achieve what u want through form 6’..’U will be just fine’…’look,you just gotta set another goal to make your form 6 meaningful and fanstatic…’..blah blah

The reluctancy and depression just waned then.

Let moving abit further in backward motion.

1.I am so proud to be one of 2010 JPA scholarship interviewees. I never expected more,really.I know how far I can go with my average good result.(1A+,3A,6A-,1B+,1 B)By the way, amongst my friend,only one hit it.It likes aint that easy.she got 12A+.ha!

2.Another proud thing,listed to be Star Scholarship Interview,at KL.I was shrieking,exactly.Omigod!Brickfield Asia College,the top law school in Msia!I called them and asked for a phone interview,things went quite smoothly until I told my dad about it-A deep dissaproving frown on his face.I guessed it was due to the coverage of the scholarship,tuition fee only.

‘But dad,it is my dream school…and free tuition fee….’…no,I never told him so..just sumthing that I kept in my heart that really making me sad.I dint even went for phone interview,I just suddenly felt all of these were meaningless.Money money money ,the biggest stumbling block ever.But I gotta admit,I dint fight for it.Which I still feeling regretful until now.But then what done is done,just need to remedy it by moving on :)

Fine,find other alternative,told myself…..

3.I got Segi High Achiever Scholarship without needed to attend interview or complicated processes.Declined due to many many confidential reasons,and I don’t really wish to be there,don’t know W H Y .

So here am I .Form 6.

The current school I attending is not fancy and popular or well-known school like st.joseph..scared heart or whichsoever that has good achievement in STPM each year.But at least,is the best school in kota samarahan area.I should be proud of it.

I started my fabulous first month by rushing charity campaigne.One of thingys that make feel I would never regret to be here.And projects come after project,I promised!A-ha!

In my mind right now,I wanaa strive to be the first 4 flat achiever to make myself and school proud and be known.It's not that easy as we never successfully produce one before,yet stpm is hard alrite..anyway,strive my heart out !

A small secret to share,i aim for UM,Law.Qualification need:NGMP 4.00 + a minimum Band 5.

I believe,wherever we are,as long as we have the passion,we will SHINE.

If you make a mistake,please dont punish the baby

 *This not exactly same as the title.re-read,re-examine the hiden meaning.

I felt like wanting to kill when i heard the news of dumping baby this evening,a baby boy's dead body found at the river.He was believed being throwned**(he is not rubbish wtf*) in the river and afloating for day/day(s) before stuck by a wood.A man who was fishing found him when attempting to get his fished fish.

What the hell people are punishing their babies for their wrong doing.There are uncountable ways or alternatives to deal with the problem.Since you are daring enough to commit the sex offences(underage sex),then why not brave enough to take the responsiblity to raise the baby?!Or even if you are not ready or not afford to do so,fine,give the baby to the authorities,but NOT leave them to DIE.

'It is normal to have sexual desire,if you dont have,then you are abnormal'Quotes from Mdm Matron who working as a nurse for over 30 yrs,35 to be exact.

Yes,everyone of us have sexual desire.But we have to control it.

Do it at the right time with the right way.

Babies are born to be loved,they dont deserve the death penalty that given by their parents.

Baby:Am i born to be rubbish?throwned in rubbish bin,beside the river.......WHY mummy?Why you do this to me?...

Man and woman,you are sacrificing a LIFE with a short term enjoyment and satisfaction.

How FUN and AWESOME is that HUH?HUMAN?Or shall i call you ANIMAL?(you are not even deserve to be called as animal)

Woman,you have the right to choose,dont you?

Please keep the God's child alive no matter what.It is tough,yes indeed it is.But tell yourself,

whatever it takes,just keep him/her alive.

First thing,take it positively alright :)

You are pregnant,it is not the end of the world right?Even if the man refuses to take responsiblity(fail a case,sue him!),be a strong mother.

Now i sound like a counselor encouraging a young mom to not go for abortion or dump her babies,haha!

And the reader,if your friend or even your classmate is pregnant in very young age,dont disdain her as if she done the dirtiest thg in life!Cheer for her!

Give her strength!GO GO GO be a good mother,alright?Cheer!=)

Next thing i wanna share with you my dearest reader(s),

ABORTION

The abortionist used large forceps to crush the baby inside the mother's uterus and remove it in pieces.

SO?

Control your sexual desire

or

if failed to,fine,take precautions!(I am not encouraging owkay!)

or

pregnant already?Be a strong healthy mother =)

say NO to abandoning babies or abortion!

Babies are the most defenseless citizens.Protect them!

Dont hurt them,you bastard!_)(*&^%$^&*(

.

.

. 

Babies are so so CUTE !Dont you think so ??

They are the perfect gift from GOD.=)

In relation:

abortion:http://www.christiangallery.com/smdead.html

Msia-Age of sexual consent:http://www.ageofconsent.com/malaysia.htm

迎接假期之感言

只剩下明天的历史试卷一(TAMADUN DUNIA)，过后就耶耶考试结束，假期开始了！多么地开心，拼了几个月，现在中算可以轻松的做想做的事！不过，玩归玩，在这假期里，得好好打算，计划好要完成的事情，玩够了后，又得开始为自己的课业打拼了。

不断地告诉自己，要加油，要坚持，不管遇到了怎么样的挫折，也得积极面对。很感谢身边的朋友，还有呗比，为我分担压力，你们的陪伴，让这半年的FORM 6 过得很充实，真的。在这短短的半年，时间真的过得很快，快得我记不起每日的日期。（其实是我健忘）让我觉得最有成就感的不是我在课业上所拿到名次，而是我所举办的Children Cancer Fund Raising Campaigne，办得相当成功。这当然也得感谢其他委员的付出以及学生们的支持。能抽到四千六白多块（已捐给Swak Children's Cancer Society），的确感到意外，毕竟只是中学LEVEL的筹款活动，我很感动，非常感动。

上个月，我和其他七位同学代表学校参加了Mencare support on Breast Cancer Awareness Workshop.它是一项非常有意义的活动，主要是教育我们对乳癌的认识。如今，乳癌是非常严重的一种病，可说是国家的第一杀手（女生）。在各种癌症里面（针对女人），乳癌占据三十五巴仙，为最高机率。乳癌并不只是发生在女人生上，在沙洲里，已证实了八个男人患上乳癌的案件，其两个患者已死亡。可怕吧？所以大家得做提防，因为有可能我们是下一位患者。不过。对我来说，这种癌症不能被完全提防，因为毕竟有很多因素可导致乳癌，所以我觉得能做的就是时时警惕，常做breast cancer self-examination.通过它，能早点发现这个病。早一点发现，就拥有更大的生存机会。第一期的乳癌，患者拥有八十八仙的生存机率，相当的高。我相信，尤其是少年，都会不知道我所说的self-examination是么来的。在这我也无法解释得很清楚，不过你可以GOOGLE 它 :)


你知道吗？。。。


年龄越大，患上乳癌的机率也越高

明年，我们打算举办同类的活动给FORM 5 &6 学生，传达给他们我们所得到的知识。
第二，我想举办校内才艺比赛，把抽到的钱，一部分捐给Federation of Family Planning Associations FFPAM Sarawak,as their budget in holding cancer's workshop to students like us.




我的华语不好，所以你会发现很多语病，希望你们不会介意哈哈！

想知道关于Breast Cancer Self-Exam，请点击这里：
http://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/guide/breast-self-exam


An informative blog about breast cancer:
http://breastcancerpictures.blogspot.com/2010/08/signs-of-breast-cancer.html

POINTLESS

This blog is being abandoned for weeks.Oh Great.
Need some relaxations,here i come.
Having exam,another week to go.
Feeling tremendous stress and tension due to high hope and expectation.
Bad mood.Damn bad mood.
how am i going to score NOW?
Ah darn.try my best,thats it!

SIDNEY SHELDON

It is common to give present like doll and necklace to your girlfriend.On the contrary,It is uncommon to give educational stuff to your girlfriend,for instance,NOVEL.

Went to popular again this noon,chosen a novel which he paid for me with condition I must finish reading it.I paced back and forth to look for the most suitable book,fulfilling requisite qualities such as interesting,mysterious and good storyline,needless to say,must be wrote by a well-known author.

Ended up with Sidney Sheldon’s novel after an hour exploration on book racks.It was an unforgettable scene,whereby we casually seated on floor ,holding selected books and start reading them.Silence broken through by our discussion on writers,types of books,English standard and so on…Enjoyable moments did not ended there,descended to bowling centre for 2 rounds game.Being the worst player in first round and astonishingly being the best player in second round with 2 strikes,satisfactory 110 marks.

Next, ought to be prepared to shift to high gear,finish my piles of homework.

Gearing up for my 2^nd examination.

So far,Finished story 2,entitled:The naked face.

Comment:A novel considered as great if it able to keep it's readers in suspense throughout the story.THE NAKED FACE hit it.Sidney did it.Bravo!
Grinned contentedly =D Lots of thx to stephanie for introducing me such great book.In other words,she convinced me to buy it..**evil smile X)

Exam ENDED,holidays STARTED

3 set of exam Papers were distributed.I know you are curious about the marks as much as I do. My advice is dont have high expectation or anticipation on it since I failed to get satisfactory results. Will sob out on this after I receive the other papers.T.T sobbing **

As the opening of my fortnight long holidays, I stacked up my abandoned newspapers on table,with reason I REALLY NEED TO BRUSH UP MY ENGLISH.What I did was flipping through those blackish pages and look for informative and useful articles .Mostly on thoughts and problem-solution articles.

I was amazed at the secondary students’ writing skills.They’re younger but they able to write much more better than me. Ashamed =( It is pretty depressing to accept the truth that our ability in doing something is weaker than someone who is younger.And that make me felt compelled to plug away at my desire to improve my embarrassing English standard.

I went to bookstore the other day and spotted a novel entitled THE FALLEN.How much I wish to have it.Somehow I dint buy it due to my mom’s reminder:Hey make sure you only buy what u really need!’

Another thing:I love mimilolo doughtnut!My saliva start dropping now…Thank you to my darling sister who introduced me such great food and not-to-forget my babe boyfriend who treated me 6 pcs of various flavoured doughnuts!

A craving for getting good grades

It's dawning while i am pressing my keyboard to express my feelings and thoughts.First of all, i compelled by mr Exam to wake up at 3am to do revision,or in detail,i shall call that as:memorise historical facts.Dizzy and headache now!
3 more days will be my exam.Pretty depressed as i have high expectation towards my exam's result.And i noticed that i keep saying this whenever and whoever talks about examinations:I m going to smash my head upon the wall until it start bleeding and eventually i die if i failed to get good grades.Is that considered as cursing?NO.It significaning how serious am in craving for getting good results.

I am not here to waste my time or honeymoon but to chase my dream.

Had just spent an hour online.It's time to leave.Gear up for my exams.Wish me luck.=]